you have watched me learn and grow.
You know my shames and sorrows,
my fears and angers and desires. You know
my hopeful dreams and the good you made me for.
You know me deep to my heart.
You made me with a destiny
too big for my understanding,
a beauty too glorious for my eyes.
You made me like you, to join myself to you.
I forget you and your dream for me each hour,
misled on the paths of my day. Seeming apart,
I rely on my own strength and wisdom and will.
But you are never apart, drawing me back
with a word in my mind, a pebble in my shoe,
or a surge of joy and unity in my heart.
You made me with a destiny
too big for my understanding,
a beauty too glorious for my eyes.
You made me like you to join myself to you.
And so I struggle to be with you in each moment,
seeking glimpses of truth, moments I know your love.
I fight the attractive dead-end paths. I know
this struggle is where I uncover my purpose, but I still hate it because every moment on a false path is a moment I separate myself from you.
You made me with a destiny
too big for my understanding,
a beauty too glorious for my eyes.
You made me like you to join myself to you.
Suggestions for meditation
Always begin by offering your time to God and asking for the grace to grow closer: something like "My loving God, I love you with my whole heart and above all things. I give you this time as I reach out to you, and ask that you guide me now, and each day, closer to you".
The exact words of the prayer are not important but you do need a firm intention to open yourself to God's input.
Read the mediation over slowly a couple of times.
Listen for the personal message for you. There will always be one word or phrase that will reach into your heart. Think of it as the personal meaning God has for you alone!
If you would prefer a more authoritative reading to focus your meditation, try the real Psalm 139
O Lord, You have searched me and known me.
You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.
You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.
Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.
Oh, that You would slay the wicked, O God!
Depart from me, therefore, you bloodthirsty men.
For they speak against You wickedly;
Your enemies take Your name in vain.
Do I not hate them, O Lord, who hate You?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
I hate them with perfect hatred;
I count them my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.
Re-read the passage or the meditation - maybe read it slowly aloud.
Is there a word or phrase that jumps out to speak to you?
Why? Try to put yourself into those words. Maybe imagine Jesus speaking, and reply.
Then spend 5, or 10, or 15 minutes with your word from Jesus, or the word KNOW or ALWAYS.
You need a clear intention to empty your mind of random thoughts (you won't be entirely successful but you need the intention).
You might want to begin the meditation using the breathing exercise I suggest in We have two minds.
After a minute or two focused on your breathing, move your focus to the word/s you have chosen.
Each time your attention moves away from the word/s, push the distraction gently aside and return to the word ("without the intervention of analytical thought" as The Cloud of Unknowing puts it).
You may need a countdown clock.
At the end thank God, and return to your day.
